GREAT SAYINGS FROM HOMER J SIMPSON

1	"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs."
2	"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
3	"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."
4	"Marge, don't discourage the boy ! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ! Except the weasel."
5	"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."
6	"To alcohol ! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems
7	"I want to share something with you - the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, 'cover for me.' Number two, 'oh, good idea, boss.' Number three, 'it was like that when I got here.' "
8	"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose : it's how drunk you get."
9	"Lisa, if life’s rich history and pageant has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot-oil wrestling and foxy-boxing and such like."
10	"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."
11	"Stealing ! How could you ? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church ? Captain what’s-his-name ?
12	We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies ? For fun ? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you ?"
13	Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'you're making a scene.