Top 20 Insults and Sarcastic Phrases for Use at Work and the Office.

1. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
4. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.
5. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
6. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
7. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
8. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
9. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
10. How about never? Is never good for you?
11. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
12. You sound reasonable…Time to up my medication.
13. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
14. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
15. It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
16. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
17. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
18. Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
19. If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
20. Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Manatee

If I were a manatee,
I would swim in the shallow green sea,
I'd feed, and feed, and feed, and feed,
And feed and feed on the nice sea weed.

When i come up from
'round the horn
i found a gal
what makes me beam
she holds me
in her supple flippers
darlin' lady
of my dreams!

Manatee! Sweet Manatee!
Your moustache bristles
tickle me
in places no one ever sees
my soft and loving manatee!

I found her bobbin'
in the surf
her briny smile
enchantin' me
we hauled her up
and gave her lovin'
a boyant lass
you would agree!

Manatee! Sweet Manatee!
My buxom bovine
from the sea
Oh, won't you come and
marry me?
My warm and flaccid
Manateee!