Campaña 18 de diciembre
Cada 14 de Febrero los hombres tienen la oportunidad de
demostrar su amor a su media naranja ofreciendo flores, chocolates,
cenas románticas, películas de amor o todo lo que una mujer
puede encontrar romántico.
Para los tíos.... nada. Hay que admitirlo; no hay ningún
día especial donde las mujeres pueden demostrar su aprecio.
Por eso se ha creado una nueva fiesta:
El 18 de diciembre, es ahora oficialmente el día de:
CHULETÓN Y MAMADA
Simple, eficaz y explícito .... este día ha sido creado
para que las mujeres puedan demostrar su amor por el hombre de su
vida.
Nada de cartas, ni de flores, ni noche especial en la ciudad,ni
baile sudamericano ... es muy simple,un buen chuletón y una buena mamada.
Eso es todo!
Estos días combinados, San Valentín y el día de Chuletón y
Mamada nos van llevar a una nueva era de amor donde todos los hombres se esforzaran para hacer del Día de San Valentín una día inolvidable, ...para asegurarse un buen día de 18 diciembre ....
La idea, está lanzada y como todas las ideas nuevas hay
que hacerlo circular para crear un efecto de bola de nieve,
así que hacedlo circular a ver si hacemos crecer el amor
y la paz en este mundo de locos.
Además, al no ser una celebración auspiciada por
multinacionales, ni por grandes superficies comerciales
a fin de incrementar sus ventas,no deberían producirse
reticencias, aunque todos conocemos a las mujeres...
No esperes más. Reenvía este mensaje a toda tu lista de
contactos.
POR EL 18 DE DICIEMBRE!!!!
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
Como puedes imaginar, he reaccionado con indignación
ante semejante barbaridad:
He respondido de inmediato lo siguiente:
Muy Señor Mío.
Su sugerencia a propósito de la festividad del 18 de
Diciembre me parece absolutamente soez y una falta de respeto para la
sensibilidad de muchas personas que no compartimos sus
brutales aficiones.
¿Es que todos los hombres somos animales?
¿Es que no pensamos sino en los instintos más bajos?
No, señor mío. No todos somos como Vd.
Por ello, yo propongo que haya alternativas también para
la gente más civilizada:
17 de Diciembre:
DÍA DE LA LUBINA AL HORNO Y LA MAMADA
19 de Diciembre
DÍA DE LOS LOMITOS DE MERLUZA Y LA MAMADA
20 de Diciembre
DÍA DE LA ENSALADA DE BOGAVANTE CON HONGUITOS DEL TIEMPO Y
LA MAMADA
Desde luego, es por gente insensible como Vd. por lo que
los hombres tenemos la fama que tenemos...
Pon tu propuesta......y pásalo.
26 November, 2005
14 November, 2005
Vacas y cabras
Un hombre entra en la habitación con una cabra en los brazos...
Su mujer echada en la cama está leyendo un libro...
Dice el hombre:
- "mira cariño, esta es la vaca que me follo cuando tienes jaquecas..."
Le contesta la mujer:
- "si no fueras tan gilipollas te darías cuenta de que es una cabra..."
El hombre sonríe..:
- "si no fueras tan gilipollas te darías cuenta de que estoy hablando con la
cabra..."
Su mujer echada en la cama está leyendo un libro...
Dice el hombre:
- "mira cariño, esta es la vaca que me follo cuando tienes jaquecas..."
Le contesta la mujer:
- "si no fueras tan gilipollas te darías cuenta de que es una cabra..."
El hombre sonríe..:
- "si no fueras tan gilipollas te darías cuenta de que estoy hablando con la
cabra..."
09 November, 2005
Answering Machine Messages
Gandalf:
“Hello, you’ve reached the ol’ wizard. I’m on an errand right now, fighting Wargs and Goblins. Please don’t bother taking a message, for I won’t be around for a couple of years. I hope I do see you then; until our next meeting.
Bilbo:
Hi! You’ve reached Bilbo Baggins. I am off onto yet another journey to Rivendell, or I may be helping dwarves find their long-lost home. Oh, no, I’m probobly petting my Ring.
If you are Gollum; I’ve still got sting by my side, so don’t you try taking my ring!
But if you have gotten my old Ring please press 2; I should very much like to hold it again one last time.
If you are a mindless hobbit: don’t even bother leaving a message: I don’t want any visitors, well wishers, or people of distant relations bothering me!
If you are Gandalf press 3, and I expect you to leave a message this time before badgering in with some measly Dwarves puckering me off on another adventure!
I hope you will live happily ever after, until the end of your days! Goodbye!
Frodo:
Hello! You’ve reached Frodo Baggins (a.k.a. Ringbarer, or Halfling) I am off to Mordor to destroy the One Ring. Please throw me a party when I return, for I would have saved the world.
Oh and ya, please don’t forget to have a fill-in buddy trim the hedges and plant flowers while I’m gone; Sam is coming with me.
Pippin:
Hullo! I’m off eating a Dubble-King-Mac or off on an adventure. Oh, no! I couldn’t be… I’m hungry…. I might be out lifting carrots, tomatoes, cabbage, and mushrooms from Mr. Maggot’s crops…. Mmmm…. That’s making me hungry. I think I need my second-breakfast. Goodbye!
Nazgûl:
Hello people of the real word. Come to us. We have candy for you. Bring us the Ring. You cannot hide. We see you!
Aragorn:
Aiya. Hello. I am Aragorn, High King of Gondor, Chieftain of the Dúnedain, Elessar, Elfstone, Evinyatar, The Renewer, the Healer, Estel, Hope, Strider, Wingfoot, Thorongil, King of the West, Dúnedan, the Deliverer…… beeepppp….
Sam:
Hello. You’ve reached Sam Gamgee the Gardener. I am out right now planting and tending Frodo’s garden, call back or leave a message:
Press 1 if you’d like to do business with me.
Press 2 if you’re Rosie and would like to marry me.
Press 3 if you’d like me to run for mayor… again!
Thank you for calling!
Sauron:
I am the Ruler of the World I shall diminish all living things and rule in the all in shadow. I will wear again the Ring of Power and punish those who held it against me. It is my Precious. My own. One Ring that would rule them all:
Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,
ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
And so it will be.
There is no life out in the void… only cold… only death.
…. This message will self-destruct…..
Gollum:
My preciuouss it’s lossst… me wants it! It’s mine! My Birthday-present! Bilbo tooks it! Give it back to me! Lossst! Mine! Gives it back! Gives it to meeeeeeee….. this message is over……
Arwen:
This is to Aragorn: I will not give up. Not that easily. There is still hope left. So don't you give up on me. May the Evenstar protect you and remind you of me. I will meet you once again. Maybe so.... Ú i vethed... nâ i onnad. Boe bedich go Frodo. Han bâd lîn. (This is not the end... it is the beginning. You must go with Frodo. That is your path.) Si peliannen i vâd na dail lîn. Si boe ú-dhannathach. (It is already laid before your feet. You cannot falter now.)
Ae ú-esteliach nad... estelio han. Estelio ammen. (If you trust nothing else... trust this. Trust us.)
A si i-Dhúath ú-orthor. Ú or le a ú or nin. (The Shadow does not hold sway yet, not over you and not over me.)
“Hello, you’ve reached the ol’ wizard. I’m on an errand right now, fighting Wargs and Goblins. Please don’t bother taking a message, for I won’t be around for a couple of years. I hope I do see you then; until our next meeting.
Bilbo:
Hi! You’ve reached Bilbo Baggins. I am off onto yet another journey to Rivendell, or I may be helping dwarves find their long-lost home. Oh, no, I’m probobly petting my Ring.
If you are Gollum; I’ve still got sting by my side, so don’t you try taking my ring!
But if you have gotten my old Ring please press 2; I should very much like to hold it again one last time.
If you are a mindless hobbit: don’t even bother leaving a message: I don’t want any visitors, well wishers, or people of distant relations bothering me!
If you are Gandalf press 3, and I expect you to leave a message this time before badgering in with some measly Dwarves puckering me off on another adventure!
I hope you will live happily ever after, until the end of your days! Goodbye!
Frodo:
Hello! You’ve reached Frodo Baggins (a.k.a. Ringbarer, or Halfling) I am off to Mordor to destroy the One Ring. Please throw me a party when I return, for I would have saved the world.
Oh and ya, please don’t forget to have a fill-in buddy trim the hedges and plant flowers while I’m gone; Sam is coming with me.
Pippin:
Hullo! I’m off eating a Dubble-King-Mac or off on an adventure. Oh, no! I couldn’t be… I’m hungry…. I might be out lifting carrots, tomatoes, cabbage, and mushrooms from Mr. Maggot’s crops…. Mmmm…. That’s making me hungry. I think I need my second-breakfast. Goodbye!
Nazgûl:
Hello people of the real word. Come to us. We have candy for you. Bring us the Ring. You cannot hide. We see you!
Aragorn:
Aiya. Hello. I am Aragorn, High King of Gondor, Chieftain of the Dúnedain, Elessar, Elfstone, Evinyatar, The Renewer, the Healer, Estel, Hope, Strider, Wingfoot, Thorongil, King of the West, Dúnedan, the Deliverer…… beeepppp….
Sam:
Hello. You’ve reached Sam Gamgee the Gardener. I am out right now planting and tending Frodo’s garden, call back or leave a message:
Press 1 if you’d like to do business with me.
Press 2 if you’re Rosie and would like to marry me.
Press 3 if you’d like me to run for mayor… again!
Thank you for calling!
Sauron:
I am the Ruler of the World I shall diminish all living things and rule in the all in shadow. I will wear again the Ring of Power and punish those who held it against me. It is my Precious. My own. One Ring that would rule them all:
Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,
ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
And so it will be.
There is no life out in the void… only cold… only death.
…. This message will self-destruct…..
Gollum:
My preciuouss it’s lossst… me wants it! It’s mine! My Birthday-present! Bilbo tooks it! Give it back to me! Lossst! Mine! Gives it back! Gives it to meeeeeeee….. this message is over……
Arwen:
This is to Aragorn: I will not give up. Not that easily. There is still hope left. So don't you give up on me. May the Evenstar protect you and remind you of me. I will meet you once again. Maybe so.... Ú i vethed... nâ i onnad. Boe bedich go Frodo. Han bâd lîn. (This is not the end... it is the beginning. You must go with Frodo. That is your path.) Si peliannen i vâd na dail lîn. Si boe ú-dhannathach. (It is already laid before your feet. You cannot falter now.)
Ae ú-esteliach nad... estelio han. Estelio ammen. (If you trust nothing else... trust this. Trust us.)
A si i-Dhúath ú-orthor. Ú or le a ú or nin. (The Shadow does not hold sway yet, not over you and not over me.)
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