Rule #1 - Once you have their money, you never give it back.
Rule #2 - The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
Rule #3 - Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
Rule #4 - Time and Latinum are precious.
Rule #5 - Always exaggerate your estimate.
Rule #6 - Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Rule #7 - Keep your ears open.
Rule #8 - Small print leads to large risk.
Rule #9 - Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Rule #10 - Greed is eternal.
Rule #11 - Even if it's free, you can always buy it cheaper.
Rule #12 - Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
Rule #13 - Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
Rule #14 - Keep your family close; keep your Latinum closer.
Rule #15 - Dead men close no deals.
Rule #16 - A deal is a deal, until a better one comes along.
Rule #17 - A contract is a contract is a contract - but only between Ferengi.
Rule #18 - A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Rule #19 - Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
Rule #20 - He who dives under the table today, lives to profit tomorrow.
Rule #21 - Never place friendship before profit.
Rule #22 - A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Rule #23 - Nothing is more important than health, except money.
Rule #24 - Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
Rule #25 - You pay for it, it's your idea.
Rule #26 - As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
Rule #27 - There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
Rule #28 - Whisper your way to success.
Rule #29 - Always ask, "What's in it for me?"
Rule #30 - Talk is cheap, synthehol isn't.
Rule #31 - Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.
Rule #32 - Be careful what you sell, it may do exactly what the customer expects.
Rule #33 - It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
Rule #34 - War is good for business.
Rule #35 - Peace is good for business.
Rule #36 - Neutrality is good for business.
Rule #37 - If it's free, take it and worry about hidden costs later.
Rule #38 - Everyone needs something.
Rule #39 - Friendship is temporary; profit is forever.
Rule #40 - She can touch your lobes, but never your Latinum.
Rule #41 - Profit is its own reward.
Rule #42 - What's mine is mine.
Rule #43 - What's yours can be mine.
Rule #44 - Never confuse wisdom with luck.
Rule #45 - Expand or Die.
Rule #46 - Make your shop easy to find.
Rule #47 - Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
Rule #48 - The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Rule #49 - Everything is worth something to somebody.
Rule #50 - Gratitude can bring on generosity.
Rule #51 - Reward anyone who adds to your profits so they will continue to do so.
Rule #52 - Never ask when you can take.
Rule #53 - Never trust anybody taller than you.
Rule #54 - Never trust a Ferengi with bigger lobes.
Rule #55 - Advertise.
Rule #56 - Be discreet.
Rule #57 - Good customers are as rare as Latinum; treasure them.
Rule #58 - There is no substitute for success.
Rule #59 - Free advice is seldom cheap.
Rule #60 - Keep your lies consistent.
Rule #61 - Never underestimate the power of bribery.
Rule #62 - The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Rule #63 - Share only what isn't yours.
Rule #64 - You don't need a store front to set up shop.
Rule #65 - Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
Rule #66 - Double the price, then sell it half off.
Rule #67 - Always inspect the merchandise.
Rule #68 - A little ear stroking goes a long way.
Rule #69 - Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
Rule #70 - Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other Ferengi.
Rule #71 - Close the deal, and then answer questions.
Rule #72 - Never trust your customers.
Rule #73 - If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.
Rule #74 - Knowledge equals profit.
Rule #75 - Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum.
Rule #76 - Every once in a while, declare peace. "It confuses the hell out of your enemies".
Rule #77 - It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit.
Rule #78 - When the going gets tough, the tough change the rules.
Rule #79 - Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
Rule #80 - Greed is known by many names.
Rule #81 - There's a difference between being a coward and running away.
Rule #82 - The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Rule #83 - Even the wealth of the Nagus started with one slip of Latinum.
Rule #84 - A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount.
Rule #85 - Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
Rule #86 - When the odds are against you never give up; just quit.
Rule #87 - A friend in need means three times the profit.
Rule #88 - It ain't over 'till it's over.
Rule #89 - Ask not what your profits can do for you, ask what you can do for your profits.
Rule #90 - The Divine Treasury awaits.
Rule #91 - Hear all, trust nothing.
Rule #92 - There are many paths to profit.
Rule #93 - Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly.
Rule #94 - Females and finances don't mix.
Rule #95 - Prejudice only eliminates customers.
Rule #96 - For every rule, there is an equal and opposite rule (except when there's not.)
Rule #97 - Enough... is never enough.
Rule #98 - Every man has his price.
Rule #99 - Trust is the biggest liability of all.
Rule #100 - If they take your first offer, you either asked too little, or offered too much.
Rule #101 - The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.
Rule #102 - Nature decays, but Latinum lasts forever.
Rule #103 - Sleep can interfere with negotiations.
Rule #104 - Faith moves mountains of inventory.
Rule #105 - Don't trust anyone who trusts you.
Rule #106 - There is no honor in poverty.
Rule #107 - A warranty is valid only if they can find you.
Rule #108 - Don't buy what you can't sell.
Rule #109 - Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
Rule #110 - Playing dumb is often smart.
Rule #111 - Treat people in your debt like family, exploit them [ruthlessly].
Rule #112 - Never have sex with the boss' sister.
Rule #113 - Always have sex with the boss.
Rule #114 - The one in power defines morality.
Rule #115 - The best contract always has a lot of fine print.
Rule #116 - There's always a catch.
Rule #117 - Profit is the better part of valor.
Rule #118 - There is no profit in revenge.
Rule #119 - Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet, sometimes, good things come in small packages.
Rule #120 - Borrow on a handshake, lend in writing.
Rule #121 - Everything is for sale, including friendship.
Rule #122 - Do not forsake your profits and they will watch over you.
Rule #123 - Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum.
Rule #124 - Diligent hands bring wealth.
Rule #125 - You can't make a deal if you're dead.
Rule #126 - Count it.
Rule #127 - Stay neutral in conflict so that you can sell supplies to both sides.
Rule #128 - Secrets are commodities, sell them.
Rule #129 - The fear of poverty is the beginning of knowledge.
Rule #130 - Never pay for sentiment, always charge for it.
Rule #131 - Information is profit.
Rule #132 - Never take no from someone who wasn't authorized to give you yes.
Rule #133 - Only those ideas that lead to profit are good.
Rule #134 - One good turn requires another.
Rule #135 - Never trust a beneficiary.
Rule #136 - Seek profit first and everything else will follow.
Rule #137 - Everything is negotiable.
Rule #138 - Wealth brings satisfaction.
Rule #139 - Wives serve, brothers inherit.
Rule #140 - Better great treasure with trouble than peace with poverty.
Rule #141 - Only fools pay retail.
Rule #142 - There's no such thing as an unfair advantage.
Rule #143 - Risk is part of the game... play it for all it's worth.
Rule #144 - There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
Rule #145 - A little and often fills your pockets.
Rule #146 - Necessity is the mother of invention. Profit is the father.
Rule #147 - In all worthwhile labor there is profit.
Rule #148 - Wealth enables experience.
Rule #149 - Profit is encouragement to industry and enterprise.
Rule #150 - The way to become rich is to put all your Latinum in one sack, then watch the sack.
Rule #151 - The man is richest who's pleasures are cheapest.
Rule #152 - A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know.
Rule #153 - Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
Rule #152 - Work hard so you don't have to.
Rule #153 - When you have only 2 slips of Latinum left, buy bread with one, and bet the other.
Rule #154 - Pain passes, but profits remain.
Rule #155 - Power is 50% what you have and 50% what people think you have.
Rule #156 - Rainy days are good for business.
Rule #157 - Common sense is the collection of the customer's prejudices.
Rule #158 - The first principle of a rigid businessman is to always be flexible.
Rule #159 - There are no creeds in mathematics.
Rule #160 - Happiness is not mere possession of profit, but joy of acquisition.
Rule #161 - Beyond the mountains there are more mountains.
Rule #162 - Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
Rule #163 - When a friend makes profit, you don't.
Rule #164 - Life does not guarantee equality of conditions, only of opportunity.
Rule #165 - Never let your sense of morals get in the way of opportunity.
Rule #166 - The success of any great transaction does not depend on odds.
Rule #167 - Earning is not only a duty it's a privilege.
Rule #168 - Whisper your way to success.
Rule #169 - Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive.
Rule #170 - The hand that feeds could be bitten.
Rule #171 - Blood is thicker than water, and Latinum is thicker than both.
Rule #172 - Chances aren't what they used to be.
Rule #173 - Dream, plan, believe, act.
Rule #174 - If you can't buy it, find someone who can.
Rule #175 - Gratitude is expensive.
Rule #176 - The wind always favors the best navigator.
Rule #177 - Know your enemies... but do business with them always.
Rule #178 - Power, leisure, and liberty are all words for profit.
Rule #179 - Opportunity may bring profit, friendship rarely does.
Rule #180 - Never discuss an opportunity with someone wealthier than you.
Rule #181 - Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Rule #182 - The cost for profit is never too high.
Rule #183 - When it's a question of profit, everyone is of one belief.
Rule #184 - In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
Rule #185 - Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.
Rule #186 - There is no security, only opportunity.
Rule #187 - The philosophy of one is the common sense of another.
Rule #188 - A fool and his money are the best customer.
Rule #189 - Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
Rule #190 - Hear all, trust nothing.
Rule #191 - A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
Rule #192 - Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
Rule #193 - Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of desire.
Rule #194 - It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
Rule #195 - You can't jump a 20 foot gorge in two 10 foot jumps.
Rule #196 - Listen to advice; then do what you want anyway.
Rule #197 - Pick battles big enough to matter, but small enough to win.
Rule #198 - You can't shake hands with a fist.
Rule #199 - The universe is not as difficult to comprehend as a Vulcan.
Rule #200 - A Ferengi chooses no side but his own.
Rule #202 - The justification of profit is profit.
Rule #203 - New customers are like razor-backed Gree-worms... They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back!
Rule #204 - It takes a Ferengi to cheat a Ferengi.
Rule #205 - Trust can be expensive.
Rule #206 - Distrust can be expensive.
Rule #207 - Sense without education is better than education without sense.
Rule #208 - Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question, is an answer.
Rule #209 - To many lobes spoil the deal.
Rule #210 - Always be smarter than the people you hire.
Rule #211 - Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success... don't hesitate to step on them.
Rule #212 - You're and your Latinum are all you've got.
Rule #213 - Those who concede to sell for less understand the value of business.
Rule #214 - Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
Rule #215 - Profit may not bring happiness, but there is no happiness without profit.
Rule #216 - Never gamble with an empath.
Rule #217 - You can't free a fish from water.
Rule #218 - Always know what you're buying.
Rule #219 - Possession is 11/10 of the law.
Rule #220 - Listen what they say while watching what they do.
Rule #221 - Computers can only give you the answers.
Rule #222 - The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be believed.
Rule #223 - Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
Rule #224 - Listen to your lobes.
Rule #225 - Always follow one step ahead.
Rule #226 - Learn the language; translators malfunction.
Rule #227 - Emulation with profit is better than innovation with none.
Rule #228 - Bid high and bid often.
Rule #229 - Latinum lasts longer than lust.
Rule #230 - If they're smarter than you, make them a lesser partner.
Rule #231 - There's a customer born every minute; be sure you're the first to find each one.
Rule #232 - Deal only with select clientele. (Those who are rich and not so bright.)
Rule #233 - Latinum doesn't grow on trees.
Rule #234 - There's nothing wrong with a good delusion.
Rule #235 - Duck; death is tall.
Rule #236 - You can't buy fate.
Rule #237 - It's good to want things, especially things you can't have.
Rule #238 - How I handle my business is none of yours.
Rule #239 - Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
Rule #240 - Do it yourself and keep it yourself.
Rule #241 - Never trust a hardworking employee.
Rule #242 - More is good... all is better.
Rule #243 - The more good will you can generate, the longer your customers stay.
Rule #244 - Because something's priceless doesn't mean it's not worthless.
Rule #245 - Benevolence is 50/50.
Rule #246 - Innocence is expensive.
Rule #247 - Don't negotiate with the underlings.
Rule #248 - Profit is in the details.
Rule #249 - Once it's sold stop selling.
Rule #250 - Precious things are for those that can prize them.
Rule #251 - Don't miss the opportunity by grabbing at the shadow.
Rule #252 - Little steps may prove great profit.
Rule #253 - Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer's stuck purse.
Rule #254 - Better a fat slave than to starve free.
Rule #255 - A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity.
Rule #256 - Accountants do not play the game; they only keep the score.
Rule #257 - Despise the things you cannot have.
Rule #258 - A slip in the hand is better than a bar in sight.
Rule #259 - Wealth not yours might well as not exist.
Rule #260 - Life's not fair. How else would you turn a profit?
Rule #261 - A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
Rule #262 - A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Rule #263 - Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Latinum.
Rule #264 - Distrust interested advice.
Rule #265 - The customer is always right... until you get their Latinum.
Rule #266 - When in doubt, lie.
Rule #267 - If you believe it, they believe it.
Rule #268 - Hold on to what you have, but plan for future luck.
Rule #269 - Trying to please an enemy makes you the loser everytime.
Rule #270 - In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator.
Rule #271 - What we want is not always the most profitable.
Rule #272 - Think twice before leaping once.
Rule #273 - Don't waste your breath arguing with a Klingon; save it for the running you may have to do.
Rule #274 - Consider your next transaction while counting your Latinum.
Rule #275 - Foolish investment based on foolish advice is still foolish investment.
Rule #276 - Overbooking is standard practice.
Rule #277 - Anything worth fighting for is worth hiding from.
Rule #278 - Appearances are deceptive. Dress above yourself.
Rule #279 - Necessity knows no price.
Rule #280 - If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Rule #281 - Greed cannot overreach itself.
Rule #282 - The value of something is not in its use, but in its price.
Rule #283 - An individual is smart, a group is not.
Rule #284 - Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
Rule #285 - No good deed ever goes unpunished.
The Unwritten Rule - When no appropriate rule applies, make one up!|
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