Weird Questions in A Library

Actual reference queries reported by American and Canadian library reference desk workers of various levels.

* “Do you have books here?”

* “Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?”

* “Do you have a list of all the books I’ve ever read?”

* “I’m looking for Robert James Waller’s book, ‘Waltzing through Grand Rapids.’” (Actual title wanted: “Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend.”)

* “Do you have that book by Rushdie: ‘Satanic Nurses’?” (Actual title:”Satanic Verses”)

* “Where is the reference desk?” This was asked of a person sitting at a desk who had, hanging above her head, a sign saying “REFERENCE DESK”!

* “I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?”

* “Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hair dryer?”

* “Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?”

* “Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?”

* “I need a color photograph of George Washington (Christopher Columbus, King Arthur, Moses, Socrates, etc.)”

* “I need a photocopy of Booker T. Washington’s birth certificate.”

* “I need to find out Ibid’s first name for my bibliography.”

* “Why don’t you have any books by Ibid? He’s written a lot of important stuff.”

* “I’m looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I’m having trouble with it in my neck.”

* “Is the basement upstairs?” (Asked at First Floor Reference Desk)

* “I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months..”