Confucious say...

Confucious say, man in front of car get tired; man behind car get exhausted.
Confucious say, man with hole in pocket - feels cocky all day.
Confucious say, man who fish in other's wells... may catch crabs.
Confucious say, panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
Confucious say, it take many nails to build crib, only one screw to fill it.
Confucious say, Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
Confucious say, man who sneezes without tissue, takes matters into his own hands.
Confucious say, when lady says no, she mean maybe. When lady say maybe, she mean yes.
Confucious say, when lady says yes, she no lady.
Confucious say, man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand.
Confucious say, Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Confucious say, Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock.
One of the best advice Confucious taught me: If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people.
Confucious say, Man with tool in woman's mouth, not necessarily a dentist.
Confucious say, Man who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep.
Confucious say, Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Confucious say, Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails
Confucious say, Lady who marry detective must kiss dick.
Confucious say, Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.
Confucious say, Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy.
Confucious say, Man who pulls on woman's bra-strap may get bust in mouth.
Confucious say, Woman who springs on inner-spring this spring, gets offspring next spring.
Confucious say, Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.
Confucious say, Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to undoing of fly.
Confucious say, Man who let woman on top is screwed up.

 
My thanks to TestDummy in #hmanga-project for such wise sayings...May Confocious Be With You