Spring is coming!!!!!
28 April, 2005
22 April, 2005
La Marvel copia la foto oficial del Rey para un personaje de X-Men
INFORMATIVOSTELECINCO.COM
19 de abril de 2005
La nueva imagen de Magneto, uno de los personajes clásicos de los cómics Marvel, es exactamente igual a la única fotografía oficial del Rey Juan Carlos con uniforme de Capitán General de los Ejércitos.
La fotografía del Rey Juan Carlos fue realizada por Alberto Schommer y tiene, por supuesto, copyright. En la página de la Casa Real esta es la única fotografía en la que Don Juan Carlos aparece con el uniforme de Capitán General de los Ejércitos. Evidentemente, no existe ningún rango mayor.
Los seguidores de los cómics de Marvel están expectantes ante la nueva entrega de la saga y sus universos paralelos. El cómic en cuestión forma parte de los llamados “What if” o "Qué hubiera pasado si..." en el que un joven Magneto llega a ser el Rey de los mutantes.
La noticia ya ha tenido eco en algunos blogs como La cárcel de papel.
Short jokes II
Q: Why do woman get their belly buttons pierced?
A: So they have a place to hang a air freshener!
Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
Q:What is the difference between a huband and a boyfriend?
A:About 45 minutes !!
What is the difference between a whore, a nimpho, and a blonde?
The whore says, "Aren't you done yet?" , The nimpho says, "Are you done ALREADY?" And the blonde says, "Beige. I think I'll paint the celling beige..."
Two friends meet each other on the street. "hello! Where are you coming from?" asked Bill. "Oh, don't ask me! I'm coming from the cemetery. I just burried my mother-in-law" replied Sid. "I'm so sorry!" said Bill, "But why is your face schratched all over?". "It wasn't so easy!" said Sid, "She put on a hell of a fight!"
What's the dofferemce between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage alike?
They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you lose your house.
What do Germans use for birth control?
Their personalities!
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!
What is the Australian for foreplay?
Brace yourself, Sheila!
And the Welsh?
Are you awake, Gwen?
Do you smoke after sex?
I don't know, I've never looked.
What do you call a man that doesn't use contraceptives?
Daddy.
What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After 10 years jour job still sucks.
19 April, 2005
12 April, 2005
Pick-up Lines
Some of the many pick-up lines out on the web, although most would only get you a good hard slap!
1. Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you
knew...
2. Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well,
let's go on a picnic and find out!
3. Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
4. Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
5. Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
6. Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
7. Fancy a fuck?
8. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
9. Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
10. Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
11. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
12. Go up to a girl at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck(wait
for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?²
13. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside
out....) Would you like to?
14. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't
you like pizza?
15. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
16. Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
17. Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs.
18. Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
19. Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK
then, can we just practice?
20. Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without
mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
21. Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?
22. I am a magical being, take off your bra.
23. I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
24. I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
25. I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
26. I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
27. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
28. Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
29. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
30. My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
31. My name's [your name] That's so you know what to scream.
32. Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
33. Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
34. Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
35. Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
36. Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these
condoms in my pocket before they expire.
37. Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the
ice, will you sleep with me?"
38. The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the
floor.
39. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the
word.
40. What can I do to make you sleep with me?
41. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed,
subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
42. Your face or MINE!?
43. Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place,
tail at yours.
44. I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
45. Nice legs, lets eat out.
46. Hey! Wanna play war? (replies) WHAT? (you) Yea, I lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
47. Hi my name is(your name), did I mention I have a penis.
48. My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some
mouth-to-mouth?
49. Show me your pussy!
50. If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?
51. If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? (if she says no) say
Good, because mine is 8 inches.
52. Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!
53. Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the
taste of your vagina!
54. I'd rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in!
1. Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you
knew...
2. Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well,
let's go on a picnic and find out!
3. Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
4. Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
5. Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
6. Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
7. Fancy a fuck?
8. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
9. Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
10. Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
11. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
12. Go up to a girl at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck(wait
for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?²
13. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside
out....) Would you like to?
14. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't
you like pizza?
15. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
16. Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
17. Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs.
18. Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
19. Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK
then, can we just practice?
20. Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without
mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
21. Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?
22. I am a magical being, take off your bra.
23. I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
24. I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
25. I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
26. I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
27. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
28. Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
29. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
30. My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
31. My name's [your name] That's so you know what to scream.
32. Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
33. Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
34. Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
35. Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
36. Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these
condoms in my pocket before they expire.
37. Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the
ice, will you sleep with me?"
38. The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the
floor.
39. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the
word.
40. What can I do to make you sleep with me?
41. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed,
subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
42. Your face or MINE!?
43. Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place,
tail at yours.
44. I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
45. Nice legs, lets eat out.
46. Hey! Wanna play war? (replies) WHAT? (you) Yea, I lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
47. Hi my name is(your name), did I mention I have a penis.
48. My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some
mouth-to-mouth?
49. Show me your pussy!
50. If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?
51. If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? (if she says no) say
Good, because mine is 8 inches.
52. Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!
53. Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the
taste of your vagina!
54. I'd rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in!
03 April, 2005
COSAS QUE NO SE DEBEN HACER MIENTRAS MIRAS EL SEÑOR DE LOS ANILLOS
1. Ponerte de pie a mitad de la película y gritar a todo pulmón: “Esperen… ¿dónde demonios está Harry Potter?”.
2. Bloquea la entrada del cine mientras gritas, “TÚ…..NO…..PASARÁS!” - Después de la película, di: “Lucas pudo hacerlo mejor”.
3. Juega a beberte un shot de tequila por cada vez que alguien diga: “El Anillo”.
4. Apunta y riete cada vez que alguien muere.
5. Pregunta alrededor, a todo mundo, si creen que Gandalf estudió en Hogwarts.
6. Cada línea que Elrond diga, termínala con un: “Mis..ter Ander-sonnn.”
7. Cuando Aragorn es coronado rey, ponte de pie y canta a todo pulmón: “Y lo hice… a MI MANERA…!”.
8. Habla como Gollum durante toda la película. Cuando termine, muérdele y arráncale el dedo a alguien y caete de las escaleras.
9. Cuando Denethor prende el fuego, grita “¡Barbacoa!”.
10. En las Dos Torres, cuando los Ents deciden marchar a la guerra, ponte de pie y grita, “RUN FOREST, RUN!”.
11. Cada vez que alguien mate a un orco, grita: “That’s
what I’m Tolkien about!”. A ver cuánto tiempo tardas antes de que te saquen del cine.
12. Cuando haya una toma completa de una batalla, cuestiona “¿Dónde está Wally?”
13. Habla ruidosamente acerca de como escuchaste el rumor de que hay un Elfo desnudo, escondido en uno de los cuadros de la película.
14. Cantar como Orcos.
15. Cuando vayan por el camino de los muertos, espera por un momento tenso y grita: “I see dead people!”.
16. En voz alta, imagínate como sería una conversación entre Gollum, Dobby y Yoda.
17. Avienta un monton de arañas-escorpiones-insectos de hule, durante la escena de la araña.
18. Pregúntate en voz alta si Aragorn eventualmente se lanzará para gobernador de California.
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