17 Ways to make yourself preseidental

17. Instead of paying your bills, stamp a big red "VETO" on them.
16. Be way, way cooler than anyone claiming to be Vice President.
15. Continuous loop of "Hail to the Chief" on your boom box.
14. Votes. Try to get more votes than your opponent. Next question?
13. When someone catches you in a lie, respond with, "Well, there you go again..." and finish with a football story.
12. Close your eyes, spin the globe, point, and send in troops.
11 During debates, try not to harp on the "cooties" issue.
10. Sink your wooden teeth into a Big Mac or two, then tell the manager to bill the Federal Reserve.
9. When faced with character assassination, stand tall and laugh it off. When faced with actual assassination, duck.
8. End every statement with, "Viva El Presidente! That's Me!"
7. Make the wife and kids run alongside the car wearing trenchcoats and sunglasses, looking around nervously and speaking into their watches.
6. As Commander-In-Chief, declare war on spouse for stealing the remote.
5. Affix your "Presidential Seal" to anything in a skirt, if you know what I mean.
4. Avoid falling off stages.
3. Simply ignore Ross Perot when he tries to jump up and bite you in the knee.
2. Always keep pants in full upright and locked position.
and the Number 1 Way To Seem "Presidential"...
1. Lie like there's no tomorrow!!!