Sage it with fire

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Don Juan de Tolosa...gracias Espi :D

Iba don juan de tolosa ,
Ke cojones tenia la cosa
Saltando de pino en pino
Con un fuerte olor a chumino
Se encontro a 100 doncellas
Muy putitas todas ellas
Se follo a 99 y la ultima le dijo
¡¡OH NO don juan la puntita nada maaas!!
- Ke puntita ni ke cojones , YO TE LA METO HASTA LOS RIÑONES
Pero esk tengo la regla
-Ke regla ni ke compás yo TE LA METO POR DELANTE Y TE LA SAKO POR DETRAS

Tapas Gallegas Anécdotas

Menú Spanglish

Copia de una traducción encontrada a la puerta de una casa de comidas de O´Grove (Galicia) ¡¡¡Es para enmarcarla !!!

The Casa Gallega

Spanish covers (tapas)


Octopus to the party (pulpo a feira)

Corageous potatoes (patatas bravas)

Huge air spray with grelos (lacón con grelos)

Canes and little ones (Cañas y chiquitos)

Drink from the boot and the big joint (beba en bota y en porrón)

Thin Uncle Joseph (Fino Tío Pepe) and Thin Fifth (Fino Quinta)

They will pass from Navarra (Pacharán de Navarra)

Wines from the River Ha and the Valley of Rocks (Vinos de Rioja y Valdepeñas)


Today´s menu


Female Jews with Thief (Judías con chorizo)
Pretty to the Iron (Bonito a la plancha)


Special Opening Promotion


One mug of bleeding if you buy a Little Joseph of Veal (Una jarra de sangría por pedir un pepito de ternera)


Animation Activities


Little Football Contest (Concurso de Futbolín)
He-dominated Tournament (Torneo de dominó)
Primitive Lottery Cudgel (Porra de lotería primitiva)
Youyou contest by couples (Concurso de tute por parejas)
Madrid Aiport available to play on the tables (Barajas disponibles para jugar en las mesas)

Dios Y Satanas

Y Dios pobló la tierra con espinacas, coliflores, brócolis, y todo tipo de vegetales, para que el Hombre y la Mujer pudieran alimentarse y llevar una vida sana.

Y Satanás creó a McDonald's.

Y McDonald's creó el Big Mac.

Y Satanás dijo al Hombre: "¿Lo quieres con patatas y coca cola?"

Y el Hombre dijo: "Tamaño grande".

Y el Hombre engordó.

Y Dios dijo: "Haya yogurt, para que la Mujer conserve la silueta que he creado con la costilla del Hombre".

Y Satanás creó el chocolate.

Y la Mujer engordó.

Y creó Dios las ensaladas, y el aceite de oliva.

Y vio que estaba bien.

Y Satanás hizo el helado.

Y la Mujer engordó.

Y Dios dijo: "Mirad que les he dado frutas en abundancia, que les servirán de alimento."

Y Satanás inventó los huevos revueltos con tocino.

Y el Hombre engordó, y su colesterol malo se fue por las nubes.

Y creó Dios las zapatillas deportivas, y el Hombre decidió correr, para perder los kilos de mas.

Y Satanás concibió la televisión por satélite.

Y agregó el mando a distancia, para que el Hombre no tuviese que cambiar de canal con el sudor de su frente.

Y el Hombre aumentó de peso.

Y Satanás dijo a la Mujer: "Son apetecibles a la vista del Hombre unos aperitivos".

Y la Mujer le acercó al Hombre patatitas fritas, palitos salados, cortezas, chorizo y una cerveza.

Y el Hombre, aferrado al mando a distancia, comió los aperitivos, que eran abundantes en colesterol.

Y vio Satanás que estaba bien.

Y el Hombre llegó a tener las coronarias obstruidas.

Y dijo Dios: "No es bueno que el Hombre tenga un infarto."

Y entonces creó el cateterismo y la cirugía cardiovascular, y las unidades coronarias.

Y Satanás creó... la Seguridad Social.

HISTORIA DE LOS REYES GODOS

El primero fue Ataúlfo, rey muy fresco,
que apagaba los candiles con un cuesco,
sucedióle en el trono Sigerico,
pedorrero también desde muy chico.

Wamba a los alanos combatiendo
a diestro y siniestro iba peyendo;
no pudiendo verse más que anos en la fuga,
en la fuga que emprendieron los alanos.

Gran simplificador fue Teodoredo,
en lugar de papel usaba el dedo;
obligando a olerle a sus vasallos,
cual si fuese perfume de "sandallo".

Su hijo Recaredo que era este,
gustaba cagar en sitio agreste,
por esto de él la historia cita,
que el culo se pincho con una "pita".

Cuenta también la historia de Chintila,
que cagó más de una vez en su mochila;
y la misma historia nos recuerda,
a los suyos obsequiaba con su mierda.

La historia nos recuerda que el rey Liuva,
hacía la caca del tamaño de una uva:
en cambio Liuva II, o sea su hijo,
poniéndose a cagar era un prodigio.

Se refiere que el rey don Chindasvinto,
tenía gran afición al vino tinto,
y por esta circunstancia se asegura,
que siempre fue su mierda negra y dura.

Y hijo y sucesor don Rencesvinto,
jamás para nada cato el tinto;
y su blanda caca embalsamada.
nos la venden en tarros de pomada.

Dícese del gran rey don pelayo,
que cagó más de una vez en su caballo;
resultando tan blando el aparejo,
cual relleno de pelo de conejo.

Al pasar don Rodrigo el Guadalete,
sintió cierto fresquillo en el ojete,
y este singular percance hizo,
que allí mismo soltará un gran chorizo.

En tan grandes y estupendas dimensiones,
que ha durado 36 generaciones;
y todavía ha quedado un resto,
para el que atentamente haya leído esto.

Nerd

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　　＿｜　∴　ノ　　３　ﾉ　　　
　（＿_/＼＿＿＿＿_ノ 　　　　
　/　（ 　　||　BUFFY || 　　　　
[]＿_｜　｜　 RULES　ヽ　　　
｜[]　|＿_|＿＿＿＿＿＿） 　
　＼_（＿_）三三三[□]三）　 　
　　／（＿）＼::::::::::::| 　　
　｜　 EB 　｜::::/:::::/ 　　　

Silav gets...hentai?

[03:57] <+Osi> I just wrote an exam...I think I did pretty good
[03:57] <@Kaname> congrats
[03:57] <@Silav101> Osi. I want you manboobs.
[03:57] <+Osi> and now I have one tomorrow morning
[03:57] <@Silav101> your*
[03:57] <+Osi> you want me manboobs?
[03:57] <@Silav101> yes
[03:57] <@Silav101> come sit on my lap, that I might fondle them lovingly.
[03:58] <+Osi> hmmm a little hard considering I don't have manboobs
[03:58] <@Silav101> I have food.
[03:58] * Kaname rolls her eyes
[03:58] <@Silav101> we can work on it.
[03:58] <+Osi> ^^;;
[03:58] <@Silav101> XD

Bohemian Parody

Ladies, Gentlemen, A-sexuals, Bisexuals, Homosexuals, pre-op transsexuals, Company managers.
May I present... Bohemian Parody. (By Mazz Murray)

Is this the real song? Is this for charity?
Written for laughs and escaping all clarity.
Open your hearts,
We'll show these old farts, just see!
I'm just a poor turn; I need your sympathy!
Because we're: easy hired, easy fired,
Always ill, and very tired.
Anyway we opened, press all took their seats,
Coz they're free (they're free)
Mama, just read the critics,
They said we were the pits,
Tried to put us in the sh!ts.
Mama, we had just begun,
And now they've gone and thrown it all away.
Mama, oooooh.
Did they mean to make us cry?
If we don't do another show tomorrow.
Carry on, carry on, cos critics never matter.
Nigel Planer!
Nigel Planer!
Too late our time has come.
We can fill that barn.
So much more than Notre dame.
Goodbye every body.
We've got to go.
Got a global dream,
We thought we did it all
Mama, ooh (any way the palms flow)
We don't want to close.
We'd rather that, than never been hired at all.
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! etc...
I see a little silhouette of the press.
Scare em off! Scare em off!
Kick em in the fandangos!
Thunderbolts and lightening,
Very Sarah Brightman.
Daily Mail (Daily Mail)
Daily mail (Daily Mail)
Daily Mail could you go?
Magnifico-o-o
I'm just a poor turn in a rich company.
He's just a poor turn in a rich company.
Spare us our jobs, give us longevity.
Easy hired, easy fired, we are very tired.
Ben Elton, no! We will not let him go, let him go,
Ben Elton, we will not let him go, let him go,
Ben Elton, we will not let him go, let him go,
Will not let him go, let him go,
Will not let him go. Let him go-o-o-o,
No no no no no no no.
Oh mamma mia mamma mia (mamma mia it's a show)
Our lives were changed,
When we did the Jubilee,
With royalty on BBC TV.
So you think you can stab us and spit in our eyes?
Now I suppose you won't love us and wish you could die
Oh Brian
We will run for you Brian
Get those critics out,
Just get those critics right out of here
Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh
Roger! Roger!
Critics never matter, only when their bad
Critics never matter.
Critics never matter, they're sad.
Anyway we're sold out

Fellowship Rhapsody

Is this a drama?
Is this a fantasy?
Old British actors
And a Best Picture nominee
Three hours long
Part one of a trilogy
J.R.R. Tolkien has gone down in history
(Tol-kien)
Because he wrote of Dwarves, Orcs and rings,
Middle Earth, Elves and kings
This is Frodo's story, a rip off of a song done by Queen,
--by Queen

Gandalf, I've found a ring,
Held it out into the fire,
At first I didn't see a thing
Gandalf, I was having fun,
And now you say I have to leave the Shire

Gandalf, ooo-oo
I don't wanna go,
If I don't try to take this thing to Mordor-
We will die! We will die! And it will all be my fault

Samwise, don't come with me
The One Ring calls my name
Hold it and you'll feel the same
Samwise, little buddy, What has Bilbo done?
He stole My Precious out of Gollum's cave

Samwise, ooo-oo
( listen Samwise Gamgee)
The Ringwraiths follow me,
So go back home with Peregrin Took and Merry

I'm just a tiny little Hobbit of a man
Mount Doom! Mount Doom! Travel to the Prancing Pony!
Aragorn is Strider! Ambushed by the nine dead kings!
Gandalf's missing, Gandalf's missing,
Gandalf's missing, Gandalf's missing,
Gandalf's missing, where'd he go?
Where should we go o o o?


Hide in the ruins-no one will find me,
A Ringwraith has stabbed him! It's a bad injury!
Arwen is here with her Elf sorcery!
Rivendell, Rivendell. Council has to vote.


Which one will go?-Let's all make Gimli go!
(I won't go!)
Which one will-Prince Boromir will go!
(I won't go!)
Then who will---The Elven King will go!
(I won't go!)
Legolas will go!
(I won't go!)
Aragorn will go!
(I won't goooooooooo!)
No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
Oh Frodo Baggins, Frodo Baggins! Did you just say you'd go?
Oh Saruman has a Balrog set aside for me! For me! For meeeeee!

So you think I will run when I see Sauron's eye?
Boromir battled Orcs and they left him to die!
Oh, Samwise-Won't you listen to me Samwise,
Just got to get out-Just got to take a boat out of here!

Ooooooo Oooooo, Ooooo, Ooo Yeah, Ooo Yeah
Get this ring to Mordor,
Throw it in the fire
Get this ring to Mordor
Then I'll go back home to the Shire.

This is Frodo's story

[dialog between Samwise and Frodo]

Saiyan Rhapsody (v 5.0)

It's not a cartoon,
it is just an anime'
named Dragon Ball Z
it's an escape from reality.
Open your eyes,
look at the TV and see...
that is Vegeta,
he is a Saiya-jin
he is evil now--evil then
then turns good--then turns bad.
His ally is Nappa,
they're facing the Z warriors now.
Time to die

Nappa,
just kill the man,
put a blast across his head
explode your ki and now his dead.
Nappa,
that was just Chao-Tzu
now eliminate the bald guy,Ten-shin Han!
Nappa,
Ooouuuhhh!
didn't mean to make you wait,
but we gotta wait for kakarrot!
Carry on, Carry on...
he's not coming after all.

Too late!
he has arrived!
just killed many of his friends,
now he's going to kick your tail!
Good-bye, everybody!
your time has come,
you are useless now
because he broke your back!!
Nappa!
Ooouuhhh!
You don't want die,
but sometimes I wish you'd never been born at all!

I see a lil' space pod flying through my window.
I can't believe,
can't believe,
I was defeated by earthlings!!
Thunderbolt and lightning!!!
Gotta go to Namek now--!!!
Do-do-dodoria!
do-dodoria
Do-dodoria!
do-dodoria
Do-dodoria you are dead!!!
You are next Zarbon-bon-bon...!
you may have beat me--I'll come back and kill you,
he may have beat you--you'll come back and kill him!
don't spare him his life from his monstrosity!!
Easy comes--easy goes
the Dragon Balls are gone
Its Freeza--Nooo! First transformation-no!
He'll kill you!
It's Freeza--Nooo! Second transformation!
He'll kill you!
It's Freeza--! Perfect transformation!
He'll kill you!
Perfect transformation--!
He'll kill you!
Never, never, never--!
He'll kill you
No, No, No, No, No, NO!
Oh, Kakarrotto
Kakarrotto
Kakarrotto avenge my dead!!!
Don't BE a fool, just-turn-into-a Super Saiya-jin!
Saiya-jin!
Saiya-jiiiiiiiiiin!
!!!!!!!BOOOOM!!!!!!

So you think you can kill me
and laugh out loud!
So you think you can stop me
and leave me to die!
oooooooooh! Freeza--!
you are so wrong Freeza!
Prepare to die--!
Prepare to die at my hands!

Nothing really matters,
I'm a Saiya-jin.
Nothing really matters,
nothing really matters...to me

Anywhere the wind blows

Lion King Rhapsody (V 4.0)

Timon: This is the great life.
No rules and no worries.
Simba: Caught in a stampede,
No escape from the wildebeest.
Rafiki: Open your eyes. Go look down there and see.
Simba: I'm not the king now, why does anyone need me?
Nala: Because it's your responsibility. Come on, Simba, don't you see?
Simba: Any way the floss blows, doesn't really matter, to me, to me.
Simba: Taka, just killed my dad.
There was a stampede in the gorge, tried to save me, now he's
dead.
Scar: Taka, just killed my dad.
There was a stampede in the gorge, tried to save me, now he's
dead.Simba's life had just begun.
For me it is a deep personal loss.
Simba: Taka, ooh, didn't mean for him to die.
Scar: No one ever means for these things to happen.
Run away, run away, and never return, Simba.
Mufasa: Some day, a time will come
When I'll look down from the stars, so remember who you are.
Simba: Goodbye, old Rafiki, I've got to go.
Gotta leave this all behind to face my past.
Mouse: Taka, ooh, (anyway the floss blows) I don't want to die
Scar: I sometimes think that life's not fair at all.
Me: I see another message from Kurabi.
Scaraholic, Scaraholic, will you stay on the list or go?
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening, Ian
(Rocio) Rocio (Rocio) Rocio, Rocio Orozco, where'd you go.
Rocio: Ryan's a nice boy, but his balloons scare me.
Zazu: Well madam, there's one in every family.
Come to think of it, two in mine actually.
Banzai: Did we order this meal to go?
Shenzi: No, why?
Banzai: 'Cause there it goes.
Hyenas: Mufasa! No, we will not let you go.
(Let him go!) Mufasa! We will not let you go.
(Let him go!) Mufasa! We will not let you go.
(Let me go!)Will not let you go!
(Let me go!)Will not let you go! (Let me go!) Ah
Ngo thando, ngo xolo.
Taka: (Oh Sarafina, Sarafina)Sarafina let me go.
Melmokh Gol'shekh has a Makei put aside for me, for me, for me.
Mike: So you think you can flame me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love Nala's emerald eyes.
Oh baby, can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

Timon: Nothing really matters, anyone can see
Hakuna Matata
Nothing really matters to me.

Anyway the floss blows...

Bohemian RPG (v 3.0)

Sick of your real life?
Welcome to fantasy.
Werewolf and Changeling,
my escapes from reality.
Just roll your dice,
look up to the skies and pray.
I'm just a half elf,
I don't need no sympathy.
Rolls are easy come, easy go.
Roll it high, roll it low.
Any way the orcs come
doesn't really matter to me,
to me.

My guy just killed a man.
Drained the blood out of his veins,
now he's feeling no pain.
Mama, our game's just begun.
No need to put the laundry all away.
Johnny, oooh.
No exasperated sighs.
If I'm not back in the next five minutes,
carry on, carry on,
'cause my character doesn't matter.

Too late,
our time is done.
That sent shivers down my spine,
wish we could play all the time.
Goodbye, everybody.
It's time to go.
Gotta leave this all behind and face the world.
Tommy, ooooh.
Don't want my guy to die.
I sometimes wish that you never are DM.

(Guitar Solo 1)

I see a little sillouhetto of an elf.
RPG! RPG!
D&D and World of Darkness.
Thunderbolts and lightning,
very, very frightening me.

Reach Golconda!
Reach Golconda!
Reach Golconda!
Reach Golconda!
Reach Golconda is my goal.
Elven arro-o-o-o-o-ows.

I'm just a poor dwarf,
nobody loves me.
He's just a poor dwarf from a great lineage.
Spare him his life, he is of use to me.

Roll it high, don't roll low.
Will they let me go?
Fives and threes.
No, they will not let you go.
Let me go!
Fives and threes.
No, they will not let you go.
Let me go!
Fives and threes.
No, they will not let you go.
Let me go!
They won't let you go.
Let me go!
They won't let you go.
(Sevens, sevens, sevens) Here we go! Ohhhh!
Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll!

Oh, Sasha Vykos, Sasha Vykos.
Sasha Vykos, let me go.
The Masquerade has a coffin set aside for me.
For me.
FOR ME!

(Guitar Solo 2)

So you think you can strike me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can stake me and leve me to die?
Oh, baby.
Now it's Demon time, baby.
Just gonna RP.
Playin' all through the year.

(Guitar Solo 3)

Ooooooooooh.
Ooh, yeah. Ooh, yeah.

Real life doesn't matter.
All the gamers see
real life doesn't matter.
Nothing really matters to me.

Any way the dice roll.

SCO Rhapsody (Bohemian Rhapsody v2.0)

SCO Rhapsody
[mel. Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen]

Is this SysV code-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in discovery-
No escape from reality

Hand us your source
It must contain our IP-
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy-
Because I’m pumping stock, with nil to show,
A little high, little low,
Whatever the facts show, doesn’t really matter to me,
To me

Grokkers, I've sued Big Blue
Followed voices in my head,
Filed a case, and now I'm dead,
Grokkers, hoped they'd buy me out,
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away-
Grokkers ooo,
Don't mean to make you sad-
If there's no press release this time tomorrow-
Carry on, carry on, as if all this didn't matter-

No case!, the judge has ruled,
Sends shivers down my spine-
Stock is dropping all the time,
Goodbye dear Grokkers-I’ve got to go-
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-
Grokkers ooo- (whatever the facts show)
I don’t want to lose,
I sometimes wish I’d never spead FUD at all-

I see a growing silhouetto of a penguin,
Microsoft, Microsoft will you fund my ligitation-
Source code and Linuxing-very very frightening me-
GPL, GPL,
GPL, GPL,
GPL is hard to spell-for SCO-
But I’m just a poor boy and nobody loves me-
He’s just a poor boy from a poor company-
Spare him his stock from this monstrosity-
Easy come easy go-, will you let me go-
Darl McBride! no-, we will not let you go-let him go-
Darl McBride! we will not let you go-let him go
Darl McBride! we will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No, no, no, no, no, no, no-
Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go-
The community has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me-

Do you think you can stop us with FUD dressed up in ties-
Take the code that you like and then spit in our eyes-
Oh McBride-can’t do this to us Darl-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here-

Only money matters,
Anyone can see,
Only money matters-, only money matters to me,

Whatever the facts show ...

John Masefield "Sea Fever"

I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky, And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by, And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking, And a grey mist on the sea's face and a grey dawn breaking.

I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;

And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying, And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must down to the seas again to the vagrant gypsy life.

To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;

And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover, And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trek's over.

More hmanga madness

<%Keiji> dummit.. i want to be 168cm ._. gimmi my 8cms
> Keiji is a smurf!
<@bigfire54> LMAO!
* The_Mighty_Highlord points and goes away laughing
<@bigfire54> go TMH GO!
* Keiji bites t-chan's long legs
<@bigfire54> hahahaha
<+kuman> why u want to be 168?
<%Keiji> bite bite bite