Swedish Chef

Toy trains 'Star Wars' fans to use The Force

Could The Force be with you? A toy due in stores this fall will let you test and hone your Jedi-like abilities.

The Force Trainer (expected to be priced at $90 to $100) comes with a headset that uses brain waves to allow players to manipulate a sphere within a clear 10-inch-tall training tower, analogous to Yoda and Luke Skywalker's abilities in the Star Wars films.

No, you're not tapping into some "all-powerful force controlling everything," as Han Solo said in the movies. But you are reaching out with mind power via one of the first mass-market brain-to-computer products. "It's been a fantasy everyone has had, using The Force," says Howard Roffman, president of Lucas Licensing.

Mind-control games may be the coming thing: Mattel plans to demonstrate a Mind Flex game (also due this fall), which uses brain-wave activity to move a ball through a tabletop obstacle course, at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas on Thursday.

In the Force Trainer, a wireless headset reads your brain activity, in a simplified version of EEG medical tests, and the circuitry translates it to physical action. If you focus well enough, the training sphere, which looks like a ping-pong ball, will rise in the tower.

A state of deep concentration is needed to achieve a Force-full effect. "When you concentrate, it activates the training remote," says Frank Adler of toymaker Uncle Milton Industries, which is creating the Trainer. "There is a flow of air that will move the (ball). You can actually feel like you are in a zone."

Star Wars sound effects and audio clips emitted from the base unit "cue you in to progress to the next level (from Padawan to Jedi) or when to move the sphere up or down to keep challenging yourself," Adler says.

"Until today, EEG technology has been designed for rigorous medical and clinical applications with little regard to price (and) ease of use," says Greg Hyver of NeuroSky, which developed the brain-wave technology for both games. "We are putting this exciting technology into everyone's living room."

MAYONESA Y CAFÉ

Cuando las cosas en la vida Parecen demasiado, Cuando 24 horas al día

No son suficientes...Recuerda el frasco

De mayonesa y el café.

Un profesor delante de su clase de Filosofía sin decir palabra tomo un Frasco grande y vacío de mayonesa y Procedió a llenarlo con pelotas de golf.

Luego le preguntó a sus estudiantes si el Frasco estaba lleno. Los estudiantes

Estuvieron de acuerdo en decir que si.

Así que el profesor tomo una caja llena de Canicas y la vació dentro del frasco de Mayonesa. Las canicas llenaron los espacios Vacíos entre las pelotas de golf.

El profesor volvió a preguntar a los estudiantes si el frasco estaba lleno, ellos volvieron a decir Que si.

Luego...el profesor tomo

Una caja con arena y la vació dentro del frasco. Por supuesto, la arena lleno todos los espacios Vacíos, así que el profesor pregunto nuevamente Si el frasco estaba lleno. En esta ocasión los estudiantes respondieron Con un 'si' unánime.

El profesor enseguida agrego 2 tazas de café Al contenido del frasco y efectivamente llenó Todos los espacios vacíos entre la arena. Los estudiantes reían en esta ocasión. Cuando la risa se apagaba, el profesor dijo:

'QUIERO QUE SE DEN CUENTA QUE ESTE FRASCO REPRESENTA

LA VIDA'.

Las pelotas de golf son las cosas Importantes,

Como la familia, los hijos, la salud, Los amigos, todo lo que te apasiona.

Son cosas, que aún si todo lo demás lo

Perdiéramos y solo éstas quedaran,Nuestras vidas aún estarían llenas.
Las canicas son Las otras cosas

Que importan, como El trabajo, La casa, El auto, etc.

La arena es todo Lo demás,

Las pequeñas Cosas.

'Si ponemos la arena en el

frasco primero, no habría espacio para las canicas ni para las pelotas de golf.

Lo mismo ocurre con la vida'.

Si gastamos todo nuestro tiempo y energía en las cosas pequeñas, nunca tendremos lugar para las Cosas realmente importantes

Presta atención a las cosas que son cruciales Para tu felicidad.

Juega con tus hijos,

Tomate tiempo para asistir al doctor,

Ve con tu pareja a cenar,

Practica tu deporte o afición favorita.

Siempre habrá tiempo para limpiar la casa y reparar la llave del agua.

Ocúpate de las pelotas de golf primero, de las cosas que realmente importan.

Establece tus prioridades, el resto es solo arena..

Uno de los estudiantes levantó la mano y pregunto que representaba el café.

El profesor sonrió y dijo:

'Que bueno que lo preguntas... Sólo es para demostrarles, que no importa cuan ocupada tu vida pueda parecer,siempre hay lugar para un par de tazas de café con un amigo..'

ENVÍA ESTE MAIL A

TODAS LAS PERSONAS

A QUIEN APRECIAS,

INCLUYÉNDOME A MI,

ASÍ SABRÉ QUE

YO TENGO UN

LUGAR EN EL

FRASCO DE TU CORAZÓN.

P.D. Siempre habrá una taza de café para ti esperando en mi escritorio.…

¡¡¡¡¡ que tengas un excelente dia!!!!!

Advice from old people

• People in power only hold that power because you allow them to. If they abuse that power, you can take it away from them. This applies to relationships, employers, landlords, councils and the Government.
• When you think “I’ll just have one more drink” - don’t have it.
• If there is something in your life you love doing - try to find a job where they will pay you to do it.
• “It’s easier to get a girlfriend when you already have a girlfriend”
• “Don’t be surprised when people are not pleased for your success and are happy when you fail”
• “Remember to fuck around a lot, when I was growing up we weren’t allowed to” (Granny – aged 89). She’s also advised me never to do cocaine, and also that marijuana brownies are great.
• My great uncle also once told me to never try shitting in a wicker waste paper bin.
• “Never look at your mom when she’s eating a banana.”
• “Son, now you are married, you must learn this important lesson on dealing with a Wife.. if you are going out for a night on the ale, tell her you are coming home an hour or two later than you actually intend to.. that way, when you arrive home ‘early’ she’ll be delighted that you’ve cut short your night out to be with her”
• “Never chase after a bus or a girl - another one’ll come along soon enough!”
• No one wins in a fight. If you hit him 20 times and he hits you once it still fucking hurts.
• Always kick a man when he is down because you probably won’t have the balls to hit him if he gets back up.
• Genuine good advice from my Grand dad - ‘Don’t listen to your mother, she never has known what she’s talking about’
• Never trust a man whose tie is lighter than his shirt.
• My nan tells me spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down… I’m a fucking diabetic.
• “Life is like riding a bike. If you look down or look back, you’ll fall off. The only way to get where you want to go is to look forward.”
• The best advice I ever received was written on the side of a box of matches, it said “Keep dry and away from children”
• Never trust a man with a beard, he’s hiding something.
• “If you take longer strides when you’re walking, your shoes will last longer”.
• Never sleep with a woman who’s problems are worse than your own.
• “Never skimp on spending money on a good pair of shoes and a decent bed. If you’re not in one, you’re in the other”.
• “Never get separated from your lunch”
• “life is like a shit sandwich, the more bread you got the better it tastes”
• “always leave a party while you’re still having fun, you’re a young lad now but later you’ll understand, never forget”
• Women are like cowpats, the older they are, the easier they are to pick up…
• “He who is scared and runs away, lives to run another day!”
• “Never trust a dog with a curly tail”
• Always take a dump when you’re at work, you’re getting paid for it
• Don’t eat gravy and ice-cream at the same time.

Real-life Dilbert manager quotes

A magazine recently ran a 'Dilbert Quotes' contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes in corporate America :

'As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.'
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA )

'What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter.'
(Lykes Lines Shipping)

'E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.'
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

'This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it.'
(Advertising/ Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

'Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.' (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

'No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them.' (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufactur ing/ 3M Corp.)

Quote from the Boss: 'Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.'
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, 'That would be better for me.'
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

'We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.'(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

Pratchett Certificate

Jump, you landlubber. Arr!

Life is...

At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
  At age 12, success is...having friends.
    At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
      At age 20, success is...having sex.
       At age 35, success is...having money.
       At age 50, success is...having money.
      At age 60, success is...having sex.
    At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
  At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.

Mouse Cruising

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

Life Expectations

When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy.” They told me I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them they didn’t understand life.

Christmas Time

Himno del Colegio Calasanz

Dedicado al colegio de mi infancia:




Las campanas repican vibrantes,
Calasanz, volteando en tu honor,
y los cirios te ofrecen semblantes
en tu altar su poema de amor;
así quieren tus hijos queridos
sobre el son de las torres cantar
y con besos de amantes latidos
ser los cirios que alumbren tu altar.
Gloria y honor, gloria y amor a Calasanz.

Insigne pedagogo
mentor de juventudes,
espejo de virtudes,
del alma estudiantil;
alumbra nuestras mentes,
inflama nuestros pechos,
de amores y ansias hechos y vida juvenil.

Las campanas repican vibrantes.
Calasanz, volteando en tu honor,
y los cirios te ofrecen semblantes
en tu altar su poema de amor;
así quieren tus hijos queridos
sobre el son de las torres cantar
y con besos de amantes latidos
ser los cirios que alumbren tu altar.
Gloria y honor, gloria y amor a Calasanz.

Your cat hates you

How many of these are YOU?